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The damn scale isn’t budging. It’s irritating me beyond belief. Since the last time I posted:

1/28 1.6 miles
1/30 5.6 miles
1/31 2.1 miles
2/4 5.4 miles – treadmill running, 20 w/u, 2/2 intervals for 20 minutes, 3/2 intervals for 40 minutes, 10 minute cool down

January’s total: 30 miles

Only 960 (or so) more miles for the year!

Me. That’s who. Sillies! Who else would I be?

My two races for this year are:

May 4, 2008 Heels & Hills Half Marathon

November 2, 2008 New York City Marathon

I’ve deferred the NYC race 2 years now…that’s close to $300 in registration & processing fees down the tube. I’m NOT deferring another year. In my most fabulous year of 2005, I had a new motto. No more excuses. Somewhere along the way I kind of forgot that. I made lots of excuses and bought some new pants as a result. I still have those ‘skinnier’ pants in my closet, hanging in the back, mocking my thighs. Shirts I can’t wear because the girls have gotten a bit hefty.

I made effort over the holidays, going to the gym 5 times in the two weeks I was off (5/14 ratio…not too bad for a heretofore slacker). I have my shuffle packed with high-energy songs, and even Nick has remarked how I’m a different (read: better) person after I’ve run.

I’m not going to try to keep a food journal just yet. That’s too tough to update multiple times per day. I’m also not going to reveal my current weight, because frankly, I am deeply ashamed. But I will keep a running total of weight lost per week, as well as exercise totals daily, with a weekly recap. I have my trusty Excel spreadsheet with formulas, calculations, etc. all ready and waiting to go. Based on the training plan I will follow, I will run over 1,000 miles this year in traning for both of these race. *baby steps baby steps baby steps* Gotta start somewhere, right!

Catching up for yesterday:

Gym: 15 minutes on treadmill warm up, 60 minute step/kickboxing/abs class. (Yes, I am sore today.)

Weight: -0

Miles to Date: 4

Daily Kick in the Butt: Even if you fall flat on your face at least you are moving foward. -Sue Luke

At what point did I think 2 miles was going to be a long distance to run? Two years ago, I would have been ‘Pshaw! 2 miles! That’s nothing!’. Now I’m thinking “Woo Hoo! I ran 2 miles!

That’s what I did last night. We went to the Cooper Aerobics Center for a presentation, and so we did our run at 6:15 pm instead of 7 pm. There’s a track that winds around the facility. For some reason, I was the only one from my group that showed up on time (one girl came later for the presentation), so I had my coach all to myself. I hope he wasn’t too frustrated with me. Except for last Thursday’s run which was a really good run for me, I’ve been having a horrible time with my calves cramping up and my ankles hurting. It’s probably the extra weight I have on my ass, which, despite working out and eating better, doesn’t seem to be budging. Hellooo…fat butt go away! I don’t like you and don’t want you anymore. Buh bye.

My frustration last night almost led to tears, but I didn’t think my coach would appreciate it. It also makes today’s Daily Kick in the Butt more fortuitous.

“In running, it doesn’t matter whether you come in first, in the middle of the pack or last. You can say, ‘I have finished.’ There is a lot of satisfaction in that.”

Fred Lebow, Romanian, racing pioneer in American and abroad

I managed to get a lot accomplished. Ran/walked for 34:29. More walk than run, but it was exercise. Ate dinner with Nick. Attended 1 hour of knitting group.

Something weird though. Yesterday I got on the scale and was horrified (it ruined my whole day). Today I got on the scale and was like “oh”. I was 6 pounds lighter this morning. I wonder if there’s something wrong with the scale. Monday is my official ‘weigh day’ though. But I forgot to jump on.

mo·ti·va·tion [moh-tuhvey-shuhn]
– noun
1. the act or an instance of motivating.
2. the state or condition of being motivated.
3. something that motivates; inducement; incentive.
– noun
1. the psychological feature that arouses an organism to action toward a desired goal; the reason for the action; that which gives purpose and direction to behavior; “we did not understand his motivation”; “he acted with the best of motives” 
2. the condition of being motivated; “his motivation was at a high level” 
3. the act of motivating; providing incentive

ac·count·a·bil·i·ty  [uh-koun-tuhbil-i-tee]
– noun
1. the state of being accountable, liable, or answerable. 

– noun
1. responsibility to someone or for some activity 

These are two words that I have not used in my vocabulary as of late. The last time I ran (and I use the term loosely) was nearly a year ago. April 8, 2006. A 5K. And I was out of shape then. Whooo boy. Do we have some work ahead of us or what?

January was very good for getting to the gym. So was that first week in February. Not so much since then.

So, here we are. It’s Goal Setting Time.

1) Sign up for Running 101 class. Duh. Yes, I know how to run. One foot in front of the other. Just like walking. Only faster. This will help me get my mileage back up. We’re starting at 0 again.
2) Manage my eating. My least favorite part. I love to eat. My ass shows it. I love food. Food tastes good. Food satisfies. I was raised to eat. I just exercised enough as a kid that it didn’t matter. Now it matters. So, cut back on the bad. And really, I don’t eat that much that is ‘bad’. I just consume too much. Portion control is really the key that I’ll be looking at.
3) Get more sleep. One of my resolutions that I’m falling down on. Part of it is a problem I have with sleeping. My brain just doesn’t shut down. The only time I’ve really been able to sleep well is when I’ve been on anti-depressants. They also help with the depression that I’ve suffered from since I was 17. That’s kind of a separate thing though.
4) Keep a training journal. That’s where this comes in. When I trained for the Nike Women’s, I was strict about keeping a training journal. It was the first time ever that I’d kept up with anything like that. It gave me great motivation to add lines in that journal, and watch my pace and mileage improve. It was also great that I counted up miles-run-to-date. 25! 50! 100! 200! Great achievements.
5) Be true to myself. Not every day is going to be great. Some days it is going to hurt. But, I’m not going to quit. I’m going to stop making excuses. Just do it. Cheesy, but it’s true.
6) Lose weight. It’s not possible to be on a diet while training for a marathon. You just don’t get the calories you require. My training and my paying attention to what and how much I put in my mouth will naturally lead to this. But honestly? In order for me get into what would be considered a ‘healthy weight range’ for my height, gender, and age I need to lose. This is embarassing. But I’m being honest and laying it out in the table. 80 pounds. This won’t be a ‘goal’ to accomplish by the marathon date. But, it’s out there.
7) Run 26.2 miles in NYC on November 4, 2007. I have a guaranteed entry this year since I deferred last year. And I want it. Coincidentally, this date will also be the 8 year anniversary of the day my great-grandmother passed away. So, I will dedicate this race to her. I don’t want to let my great-grandma down.

I deserve this. I can do this. I have done it before. It’s an achievement that not many people are willing to train for. In 2005, I was 2 of 383,000 marathon finishers (Nike Women’s and White Rock)! That’s out of ~300,000,000 million people living in the US at the time. This is for me. For me.

So many times, it happens too fast,
You trade your passion for glory,
Don’t lose your grip on the dreams of the past,
You must fight just to keep them alive…

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